Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Shared recently on WeChat:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Spotted on WeChat:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Spotted on Discord:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Seen just now on Slack:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Going viral on Telegram:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Just shared via Discord:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I signed up for adulthood, I must've missed the upgrade for that feature! 😴🤔🔧

feeling, feeling rested, humor, invent, invention, rest, rested, should, sleep, sleeping, tired, type, wake, wake up, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

0

2 months ago

background, background noise, entertainment, hobby, humor, i, multitasking, noise, phone, scroll, scrolling, TV, using, while
Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

0

2 months ago

dating, full, full moon, girl, girls, humor, i, joke, know, lunar, moon, playful, sacrifice, spot, supernatural, under
There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

0

5 months ago

boss, friend, friends, humor, job, law, lie, literally, old, pretend, put, reference, references
This is an awful time to be an educated person.

0

2 months ago

awful, commentary, difficult, difficult time, education, humor, intelligence, irony, person, social, social commentary, time
My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

0

2 months ago

activity, conclusions, daily, daily activity, exercise, fitness, humor, jumping, late, luck, procrastination, pushing, routine, running
Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

0

2 months ago

assistant, device, ever, fail, frustration, humor, just, Siri, smart, smart device, tech, tech fail, technology, voice, voice assistant, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

87 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

27 shares on X this month:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

61 shares on Slack this month:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Just landed via Discord:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Trending via Slack:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Shared recently on X:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Spotted on X:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Live now on Messenger:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Going viral on TikTok:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨