Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,388

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Seen just now on Threads:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Just landed via Messenger:

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

Spotted on Slack:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Seen just now on Threads:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Live now on Pinterest:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

1 week ago

Witty quote about longing for privacy outdoors, humorous and playful in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Absolutely, imagine the freedom of stepping outside and not feeling like a celebrity on paparazzi patrol! 😆🌳✨ Maybe one day, we'll have secret undercover outdoor zones where privacy is king. Until then, just embrace the urban jungle and practice your best "I'm totally normal" face! 😎🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️

activity, freedom, going, going outside, invent, looking, observation, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside, people, personal, personal space, privacy, should, social, social observation, solitude, space

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on YouTube this month:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

73 shares on X this month:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

69 shares on Telegram this month:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Trending via Instagram:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Just shared via X:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Trending via Discord:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Just landed via Facebook:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

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