Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Going viral on Instagram:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Just landed via Slack:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Spotted on Messenger:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about reviving late-night drunken sports calls and nostalgic fan antics.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs art classes when you can master the craft of passionate post-game rants? 🎨📞🍻

activity, after, art, back, bring, call-in, calling, drunk, fan, fan activity, football, football season, game, getting, local, lost, lost art, need, radio, radio show, season, show, Teams

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

2 weeks ago

active, activity, both, contradiction, exercise, humor, laziness, lazy, people, same, stairs, step, steps, take, time, walking
It was me, I let the dogs out.

5 days ago

antic, confession, dog, funny moment, humor, i, let, let out, me, moment, pet, pet antic, responsibility
The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

6 days ago

engagement, fire, humor, interaction, neighbor, only, reason
A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

5 days ago

12, 12 step, couch, exercise, getting, humor, just, laziness, me, motivation, program, self-improvement, step
I drive like I’m immortal.

2 weeks ago

drive, driving, humor, i, immortality, reckless, reckless driving
I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

5 days ago

commitment, fight, humor, irony, relationship, sarcasm, self-awareness, toxic, want

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on X this month:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

86 shares on TikTok this month:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

57 shares on X this month:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

82 shares on Slack this month:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

82 shares on X this month:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Going viral on Discord:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Live now on Twitch:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Just landed via YouTube:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Just shared via Slack:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Keep the laugh going 😂

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

It was me, I let the dogs out.

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

I drive like I’m immortal.

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨