Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,256

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Just landed via X:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Spotted on Twitch:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Breaking via Reddit:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Spotted on YouTube:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Swapping pixels for giggles? Count me in! 📱➡️😄💃

beautiful, dating, entertainment, happiness, happy, humor, man, need, relationship, replace, screen, screen time, simply, time, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

0

2 months ago

beloved, character, childhood, entertainment, humor, nostalgia, TV
Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

0

2 months ago

age, birthday, feeling, humor, i, lie, little, milestone, reluctance, serious, sounds, turning, year
So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

0

4 months ago

beauty, beauty pageant, Earth, every, humor, joke, miss, Miss Universe, pageant, space, universe, winner
A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

0

2 months ago

attitude, different, done, finger, humor, manicure, middle, middle finger, nails, sass, self-expression
Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

0

2 months ago

apple, apples, beer, beers, couple, dead, drinking, feeding, game, gaming, getting, horse, humor, just, petting, red, Red Dead Redemption, redemption, relaxation, video, video game
Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

1

2 months ago

future, growth, humor, i, life, motivation, need, past, personal, personal growth, phase, reflection, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

94 shares on Slack this month:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Spotted on WeChat:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Just landed via WeChat:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Trending via Facebook:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨