Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,250

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Just landed via WeChat:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Going bananas on X:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Just landed via YouTube:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Trending via YouTube:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

3 weeks ago

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When you really hit it off with someone new but they’ve got career commitments. 😂🔪💔

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70 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

58 shares on X this month:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

75 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Making waves on Telegram:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Going viral on X:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Trending via Slack:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Going viral on Telegram:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨