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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, β€œWasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has viewed:

I’m not β€œlate”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of β€œtime”.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has copied:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has viewed:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has copied:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m about to start telling people, β€œAs long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Just shared via Slack:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Trending via YouTube:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Going bananas on X:

The horror: β€œCome on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

β€œAI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Just landed via Discord:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Spotted on Pinterest:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Just landed via Pinterest:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Playful quote about wishing for a song about dancing and moving to the beat.
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Commentary:
I've spent my whole life searching for such a moving tune! πŸŽ€πŸ•ΊπŸ˜‚

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Discord this month:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

28 shares on Slack this month:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œYou’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Ironic that the two Ζ‘’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has viewed:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has copied:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

What base is it when he says, β€œI know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has copied:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has shared:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Messenger:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Live now on TikTok:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Just shared via Twitch:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Going viral on WeChat:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Spreading quickly via X:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Making waves on Discord:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Shared recently on TikTok:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

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