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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Living la vida taco!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Seen just now on X:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Trending via Telegram:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Trending via YouTube:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Live now on Instagram:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Playful quote about wishing for a song about dancing and moving to the beat.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
I've spent my whole life searching for such a moving tune! 🎤🕺😂

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

49 shares on Slack this month:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

95 shares on Slack this month:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

57 shares on Discord this month:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

83 shares on X this month:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,631

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Trending via Discord:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Broadcasted on Threads:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Going viral on Messenger:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Seen just now on X:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Making waves on Facebook:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

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