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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

The Princess and the Pea, except itโ€™s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of lifeโ€™s greatest challenges.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

I donโ€™t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like โ€œAre you sure?โ€œ

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Watching Jaws with my kid because Iโ€™m sick of going to the beach.

Watching Jaws with my kid because Iโ€™m sick of going to the beach.

Commentary:
Looks like you're trading sandy toes for suspenseful roars! ๐Ÿฆˆ๐Ÿ–๏ธ Nothing like a movie night to avoid the sea's surprise guests. Just make sure your kid doesn't start eyeing the water suspiciously! ๐Ÿ˜…๐ŸŽฌ

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.