Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Spotted on Reddit:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Live now on Reddit:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Spotted on Reddit:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Live now on Reddit:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Tasting the fine vintage of avoidance 2023; pairs well with procrastination pie! 🍷🗓️🎉

back, business, business phrase, circle, circle back, close, delay, humor, i, meeting, next, phrase, procrastination, season, taste, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

0

2 months ago

comparison, compliments, convinced, crazy, culture, enough, good, imagine, life, likes, media, online, online culture, people, real, real life, self-esteem, self-worth, social, social comparison, social media, telling, us, validation, virtual, virtual validation
My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

0

4 months ago

beach, behavior, food, fry, funny behavior, humor, husband, i, relationship, say, seagull, snack, stealing, stealing food, want
The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, death, died, humor, joke, man, peace, restaurant, wordplay
My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

0

2 months ago

flu, humor, illness, joke, joking, kids, life, new, parenting, Pokémon, Puke-Achu, stomach, stomach flu, weeks
Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

0

2 months ago

food, fry, humor, intention, joke, making, sharing
The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

0

2 months ago

2, humor, i, internet, life, minutes, outage, patience, start, technology, thinking, Wi-Fi, wifi, working

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Just shared via Reddit:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Going viral on WeChat:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Trending via Pinterest:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Trending via Reddit:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Making waves on X:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨