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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Making waves on Messenger:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Just landed via Messenger:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Going viral on Twitch:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

3 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh sure, because nothing says 'piece of cake' like juggling chainsaws blindfolded 😂🎂🔧

cake, challenge, change, confidence, done, history, humor, piece, politics, regime, regime change, sarcasm, should, success, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

0

2 months ago

cheat, cheating, evasion, finance, humor, i, joke, money, pun, satire, sleeping, tax, tax evasion
Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

0

2 months ago

enjoying, enjoyment, frustration, humor, just, me, microsoft, outlook, portal, sarcasm, software, torment, work
She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

0

2 months ago

breakup, care, English, humor, i, irony, language, left, me, poor, relationship
Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

0

2 months ago

considerate, even, evil, humor, most, personality, sarcasm
What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, car, cars, common, diarrhea, electric, electric car, fear, home, humor, joke, making, transportation
Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

0

2 months ago

always, appearance, assumption, baby, compliment, humor, i, just, looks, parenting, people, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

26 shares on Slack this month:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

87 shares on Slack this month:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Just landed via Telegram:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Going bananas on Telegram:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Just landed via Messenger:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Just shared via Slack:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Just shared via Threads:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨