Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Just landed via Telegram:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Spotted on Reddit:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When God closes a door, he opens a window. 🚪➡️🪟 Unfortunately for us, we seem to be stuck in a submarine… 🌊⛴️ Better start looking for that emergency exit hatch! 🚶‍♂️🔍"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

77 shares on Telegram this month:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Making waves on Messenger:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Trending via Pinterest:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Seen just now on X:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Trending via Pinterest:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Just landed via Discord:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Going bananas on TikTok:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

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