Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Live now on Threads:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Breaking via TikTok:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Just shared via Instagram:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Going bananas on Discord:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Spotted on Instagram:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Just landed via TikTok:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

2 months ago

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"When it comes to making things 'interesting,' I'm the Picasso of chaos! 🎨🤣💥"

ability, attitude, bad, dark, dark humor, die, hope, humor, i, irony, pessimism, sarcasm, self-deprecation, situation, take, worse

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51 shares on Slack this month:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

79 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

73 shares on Threads this month:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

46 shares on Twitch this month:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Going bananas on Discord:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Making waves on X:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Live now on Slack:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Seen just now on Threads:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Making waves on Instagram:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨