Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,767

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Making waves on Twitch:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Just landed via X:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Just shared via TikTok:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Trending via Pinterest:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Just shared via YouTube:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Just landed via Snapchat:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like I'm not just a wife, I'm also a handy 'get out of jail free' card! 🎟️😂 #MasterOfExcuses"

ask, asking, communication, excuse, humor, husband, just, let, marriage, me, procrastination, relationship, using, whatever, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

0

1 month ago

animal, animal metaphor, attitude, better, donkey, everyone, hate, humor, metaphor, personality, ride, rides, wolf
She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

0

2 months ago

ego, humor, love, narcissism, obsession, self, self-love, self-obsession
“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

0

2 months ago

12, adolescence, age, bro, everything, frustration, growing, growing up, humor, i, life, life struggle, nothing, okay, sarcasm, struggle, turned
Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

0

2 months ago

health, hospital, humor, just, media, mental, mental health, mental hospital, online, online platform, platform, satire, social, social media, Twitter, virtual
It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

0

5 months ago

back, finger, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, inside, just, me, reaction, sarcasm, shadow, summer, sun, temperature, weather
My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

0

2 months ago

account, commitment, dating, Hotmail, humor, relationship, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

63 shares on Twitch this month:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Making waves on Telegram:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Trending via YouTube:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Spotted on Threads:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨