Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

20 shares on Discord this month:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.