Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Making waves on Discord:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Making waves on TikTok:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wine: the only currency my mouth accepts 🍷💸😄

beverage, drinking, humor, i, joke, money, mouth, pun, put, sarcasm, where, why, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

6 months ago

behavior, communication, die, enough, humor, leaving, life, live, messaging, modern, modern life, people, people pleaser, pleaser, read, read receipt, receipt, social, social behavior, start, text, texts
Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

2 months ago

away, awkward, awkward moment, bored, boredom, conversation, ever, interaction, just, moment, social, social interaction, walk, walking, walking away, wish
Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

2 months ago

alcohol, fix, humor, joke, life, shot, tequila, worth
Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

2 months ago

after, bills, every, finance, giving, here, humor, lord, month, monthly, paid, payment, price, struggle, us
Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

2 months ago

essential, humor, interaction, man, men, pretend, pretending, skill, social, social interaction, stare, staring, survival, survival skill, woman, women
I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

2 months ago

confusion, doing, even, existential, humor, humor quote, life, planet, sure

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I am single, please disturb me!

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

72 shares on X this month:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Making waves on TikTok:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Just landed via Reddit:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Going viral on Facebook:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Spotted on Slack:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨