Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Trending via Reddit:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Just shared via Pinterest:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Going viral on YouTube:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Live now on TikTok:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Cats: the original stress ball, but with purring! 🐱💆‍♂️✨

better, cat, comfort, companionship, deal, humor, lap, pet, relaxation, relief, stress, stress relief

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

0

2 months ago

before, better, email, finds, God, humor, i, pray, whatever
My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

0

2 months ago

back, band, body, elastic, elastic band, humor, i, matter, nap, position, relaxation, stretch
An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

0

2 months ago

annoying, computer, email, frustration, humor, return, store, technology
I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

0

2 months ago

coping, escapism, humor, just, order, reality, restraining, restraining order, sarcasm, wit
Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

0

2 months ago

behavior, dumb, humble, humor, intelligence, interaction, people, personality, play, play dumb, psychology, reveal, self-awareness, smarter, social, social interaction, stay, think, truly
Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

0

4 months ago

30s, 50s, ache, age, aging, complaint, everyone, good, humor, laugh, middle, middle age, moan, moaning, pain, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Twitch this month:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

74 shares on Discord this month:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

17 shares on Messenger this month:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

73 shares on X this month:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Spotted on Messenger:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Seen just now on Telegram:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Making waves on Reddit:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Just landed via Messenger:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Just shared via Slack:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Going viral on Instagram:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨