Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Seen just now on X:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Trending via TikTok:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Just landed via WeChat:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Just shared via Facebook:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Procrastination level: expert 🏆🤔 Every day’s a new high score! 😂🛋️

decision, hang, hanging, hanging out, humor, i, just, kind, life, life decision, procrastination, reflection, self, self-reflection, should, something, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

0

2 months ago

actor, cruise, fame, going, Hollywood, humor, joke, movy, retirement, run, tom, Tom Cruise
I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

0

2 months ago

bag, candy, commentary, humor, i, joke, M&M, social, social commentary, woke, wordplay
Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

0

2 months ago

coat, disappointment, hate, humor, i, money, pull, stash, surprise, winter
We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, app, call, calls, communication, extrovert, humor, interaction, introvert, need, outsourcing, pay, phone, phone call, social, social anxiety, social interaction, technology, where
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

0

2 months ago

admire, driver, frustration, humor, irony, patience, perspective, road, something, traffic
No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, adulthood, adulthood challenges, authentication, challenges, humor, life, me, much, multi-factor, multi-factor authentication, relatable, technology, told

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

28 shares on Discord this month:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

96 shares on Discord this month:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

42 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

19 shares on Slack this month:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

72 shares on X this month:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Shared recently on X:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Just landed via Threads:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Making waves on YouTube:

I only drink when I people.

Going bananas on Telegram:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Just landed via Facebook:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Live now on WhatsApp:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Live now on LinkedIn:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Trending via Facebook:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Trending via Pinterest:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨