Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Breaking via WeChat:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Making waves on Messenger:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Live now on Facebook:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Seen just now on Discord:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Just shared via X:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to call the heart department for a rekindle 🔥❤️🚒

breakup, emotion, fire, heart, humor, joke, relationship, rumor, sarcasm, street, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

0

2 months ago

adulting, age, errands, going, humor, just, means, routine, running, weekend, where
Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

0

2 months ago

arms, baby, betrayal, disappointment, else, emotional, holding, humor, humor quote, loyalty, put, relationship, someone, trust
Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

0

2 months ago

alien, alone, ancient, home, home planet, humor, just, leave, loneliness, me, planet, please, return, sci-fi, time, time travel, travel, trying
Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

0

2 months ago

conversation, frustration, humor, i, joke, me, print, printer, show, sounds, sure, technology
How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

0

2 months ago

authority, boss, even, guy, humor, i, just, know, skepticism, trust, word, workplace
Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

0

2 months ago

activity, boredom, door, doorbell, front, front door, fun, fun activity, happiness, happy, i, joy, sheer, sheer boredom, unexpected, unexpected joy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

89 shares on Twitch this month:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

90 shares on Threads this month:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

54 shares on X this month:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Trending via Threads:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Spotted on TikTok:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Making waves on Instagram:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨