Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Trending via Discord:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Spotted on Threads:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Spotted on Threads:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Just shared via Slack:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

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Commentary:
"Taking 'bravery' to a whole new level! 😂📞 #OldSchoolNerves"

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Threads this month:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

19 shares on X this month:

Coffee is just goth water.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,542

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Just shared via Messenger:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Just landed via Messenger:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Breaking via Telegram:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Just landed via Discord:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Making waves on Slack:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Trending via WeChat:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

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