Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like the only thing faster than a dog sprinting after you is my sarcasm chasing after your bad jokes! 🐕🔥😂 But hey, at least my chasing skills won’t leave you panting… unless it's from laughing too hard! 😄🎉

animal, better, chance, chase, dog, getting, humor, joke, me, playful, playful threat, sarcasm, threat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

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2 months ago

awkwardness, disappearing, explanation, humor, me, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension
Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

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2 months ago

die, funeral, humor, man, norms, proposal, real, real man, social, social norms, someone, wedding
Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

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2 months ago

brain, dishwasher, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, relief, run, stress, stress relief, therapy
Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

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2 months ago

annoyance, blocking, enough, humor, i, lice, petty, relationships, revenge, someone, spite, want
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

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2 months ago

back, homing, humor, lose, loss, lost, never, normal, pigeon
Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

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2 months ago

ads, death, free, humor, irony, sleep, trial

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

86 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

12 shares on Slack this month:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a job ruined my life.

40 shares on Discord this month:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Just shared via Telegram:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Broadcasted on X:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Going viral on Reddit:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Seen just now on Discord:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Going viral on Snapchat:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨