Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Just shared via YouTube:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The future is buffering.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Trending via Instagram:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Just landed via Telegram:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Breaking via YouTube:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess being exposed to fluorescent lighting for 40 hours a week really warms up the workplace, huh? 🔥🏢😅

40, attraction, coworker, distance, feet, hot, hours, humor, just, office, proximity, time, week, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

0

4 months ago

epiphany, every, humor, i, motivation, need, night, self-improvement, turn
They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

0

2 months ago

distraction, driving, humor, joke, lane, safety, should, special, texting
Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

0

2 months ago

best, both, fun, happiness, humor, i, intimacy, joy, laughing, life, lot, orgasm, pleasure, relationship, things, want
Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

0

2 months ago

brag, compliment, cooking, dinner, humor, humor quote, i, interesting, just, kitchen, marriage, relationship, sarcasm, wife
My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

0

3 months ago

9, company, CV, exaggeration, good, humor, job, job search, months, nine, nine months, reading, resume, search, still
I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

1

2 months ago

baby, born, doing, doing good, good, hope, hospital, humor, i

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Discord this month:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

30 shares on X this month:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

78 shares on Threads this month:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

76 shares on Facebook this month:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

32 shares on WeChat this month:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

34 shares on Threads this month:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

49 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Just shared via Discord:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Making waves on Reddit:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Making waves on Threads:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Making waves on Reddit:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Just shared via Threads:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨