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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Seen just now on Twitch:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Going viral on YouTube:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Trending via Threads:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Juggling friends like social life Pokémon: gotta catch just the right three! 🎬🍹📱

1, 3, app, apps, concerning, drink, drinks, enough, friend, friends, health, information, mental, mental health, movie, movie theater, text, texting, theater

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

0

2 months ago

always, darth, Darth Vader, ever, everywhere, hell, hero, humor, i, just, run, running, saunter, seen, sprint, style, vader, villain, walking, walking style
Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

0

4 months ago

air, air fryer, brew, bro, Caesar, caesar salad, cold, cold brew, food, food trend, found, fryer, healthy, healthy food, high protein, i, Instagram, media, oats, overnight, overnight oats, recipe, salad, social, social media, trend, trendy, trendy food, try
I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

0

2 months ago

challenge, clean, cleaning, expiration, food, fridge, fun, game, here, humor, i, kill, mystery, play
You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

0

2 months ago

alarm, along, annoyance, distraction, else, humor, know, over, phone, playing, repetition, someone, tune, whistling, worse
Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

0

1 month ago

acting, babe, communication, delusion, humor, misunderstanding, partner, relationship, right
Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

0

2 months ago

brain, closing, eye, flash, humor, just, last, last time, life, tab, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on TikTok this month:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

12 shares on Slack this month:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

18 shares on Twitch this month:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

97 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

40 shares on X this month:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Trending via YouTube:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Making waves on Twitch:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Live now on Discord:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Spotted on Threads:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Just shared via Instagram:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Seen just now on Threads:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨