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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,355

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Making waves on X:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Just shared via Pinterest:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Just shared via Discord:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Juggling friends like social life Pokémon: gotta catch just the right three! 🎬🍹📱

1, 3, app, apps, concerning, drink, drinks, enough, friend, friends, health, information, mental, mental health, movie, movie theater, text, texting, theater

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

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I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

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4 months ago

almost, compliment, finished, humor, love, media, reading, sarcasm, social, social media, tweet
The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

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2 months ago

disaster, great, humor, iceberg, joke, just, lesson, lot, tip, Titanic, trouble, whole, why
I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

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2 months ago

capture, effort, family, feel, hours, humor, i, parenting, photographer, photography, smile, spend, teenager, trying, wildlife
I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

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2 months ago

hour, humor, i, lose, loss, lost, me, perspective, sleep
I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

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2 months ago

behavior, communication, content, done, extra, extra content, humor, i, media, obsession, oh, online, online behavior, second, social, social media, thought, tweet, Tweets, unnecessary

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Instagram this month:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

70 shares on X this month:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Just shared via WeChat:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Going viral on Messenger:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Making waves on Messenger:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Going bananas on X:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Making waves on Twitch:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Just shared via Facebook:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Seen just now on Discord:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Just shared via Twitch:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨