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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Just shared via Messenger:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Just shared via Discord:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Trending via Snapchat:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, I guess this is the ultimate problem of future me! 🤔💀🤣

age, anything, comment, comment section, dark, dark humor, dead, death, full, future, humor, humor quote, internet, mortality, people, sarcasm, section, time, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We decided to have money instead of children.

0

2 months ago

children, decision, humor, lifestyle, money, parenting, priorities
Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

0

2 months ago

activity, conversation, conversation starter, crossroads, dark, Dark Lord, every, funny activity, hug, humor, interesting, intrigue, lord, starter, surprise, whisper
You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

0

2 months ago

able, bar, conversation, event, Google, humor, last, memory, night, said, should, social, social event, someone
Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

0

2 months ago

career, confused, confusion, dilemma, humor, indecision, interests, lot, multitasking, nobody, passion, person, relatable, still, stress
Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

0

3 months ago

female, female rage, frustration, handbag, humor, rage, shoulder, slipping
The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

0

3 months ago

celebration, effect, humor, kiss, life, play, real, real life, romance, should, sitcom, someone, sound, sound effect, track, whenever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

21 shares on Threads this month:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

96 shares on Threads this month:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Just landed via TikTok:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Trending via Threads:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Breaking via Twitch:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Going viral on Reddit:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Just landed via Telegram:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Going viral on Messenger:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

We decided to have money instead of children.

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨