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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Going bananas on Slack:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Just landed via Discord:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Just shared via Twitch:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Trending via Slack:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Making waves on X:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.
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Commentary:
Ah, the magic of adulting – where a simple request can lead to a one-way ticket to the couch! 🪑😴 Just another reminder that growing up comes with its own set of rules… and furniture arrangements! 🛋️✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

52 shares on Slack this month:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

82 shares on Discord this month:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Making waves on Instagram:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Shared recently on Slack:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Trending via Slack:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Spotted on Discord:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Breaking via Twitch:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Just shared via Threads:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

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