A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.