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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Trending via Reddit:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Live now on Twitch:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Trending via Twitch:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Just landed via Reddit:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Trending via Instagram:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Trending via Snapchat:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Trending via Twitch:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Humorous quote comparing America to a chaotic, unpredictable TV show with endless plot twists.
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Commentary:
Just waiting for the episode where everyone gets amnesia and someone announces, "It was all a dream!" 😂📺🎬

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

65 shares on Instagram this month:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

55 shares on Discord this month:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Occupation: the ugly friend!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Live now on X:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Broadcasted on Slack:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Going bananas on Twitch:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Going viral on Threads:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Just shared via X:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

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