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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Making waves on WeChat:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Just shared via Discord:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Shared recently on Discord:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Going viral on X:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Live now on Snapchat:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Making waves on WeChat:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Just landed via Telegram:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just waiting for the episode where everyone gets amnesia and someone announces, "It was all a dream!" 😂📺🎬

America, anything, confusion, entertainment, happen, humor, just, know, plot, satire, show, storyline, television, too, TV, TV Show, writer, writers

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

0

2 months ago

activity, arguing, argument, August, dating, fun, fun activity, humor, relationships, road, road trip, start, trip
Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

0

2 months ago

excuse, family, hang, hang out, humor, i, joke, kid, parenting, sorry, still, think, weekend
The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

0

2 months ago

history, humor, invention, key, locks, point, turning, turning point, wordplay
I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

0

2 months ago

big, comfort, fashion, feel, fishnet, food, ham, honey, humor, i, love, quirky, roast, sleeping
I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, curiosity, dinosaurs, even, exploration, fun, fun activity, humor, i, jurassic, Jurassic Park, park, risk, say, seen, visit
Internet strangers offer the best advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, best, humor, internet, media, offer, online, social, social media, strangers

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

96 shares on X this month:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I am thick and tired.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Just landed via Telegram:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Going bananas on Messenger:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Just landed via Slack:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Breaking via Discord:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨