Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,082

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Making waves on Reddit:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Going viral on Facebook:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Going bananas on YouTube:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Going viral on Slack:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Making waves on Snapchat:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Making waves on YouTube:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Shared recently on Threads:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Breaking via Telegram:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Waiting for the plot twist where the American Pope is also a crime-fighting detective! 😂📺✝️"

Amazon, Amazon Prime, American, culture, entertainment, humor, ignore, media, name, original, parody, pop, pop culture, Pope, prime, satire, series, sery, sounds, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

0

2 months ago

brain, dance, ever, every, funny thought, humor, i, insomnia, little, mind, mistake, overthinking, restless, restless mind, sleep, sometimes, tap, tap dance, thought, through, want
Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

0

5 months ago

eating, entertainment, front, guy, humor, me, movie, observation, page, popcorn, reading, snack, while, Wikipedia
Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

0

5 months ago

confusion, everyone, humor, i, kiss, kisses, love, question, relationship, where
Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

0

2 months ago

address, beach, couple, days, family, getaway, hiding, humor, me, rental, vacation, wrong, wrong address
I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

0

2 months ago

break, death, fear, game, humor, i, never, streak, terrified, used, winning, Wordle, worry
Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

0

2 months ago

always, appliance, appliances, coincidence, expense, getting, humor, know, money, refund, tax, timing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

33 shares on Telegram this month:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

26 shares on Threads this month:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Trending via Messenger:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Making waves on TikTok:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Just shared via X:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Just landed via WeChat:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨