Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Trending via WeChat:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Just shared via X:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Just landed via Facebook:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Going viral on TikTok:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a recipe for confusion! 😂🥵🔄

72, American, Americans, bro, casual, casual speech, Fahrenheit, Funny, humor, i, joke, man, outside, oven, speak, speech, temperature, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

0

2 months ago

face, Facetime, humor, iPhone, joke, pun, steal, stole, technology, thief, time
The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

0

2 months ago

ceremony, eyes, humor, morning, Olympics, opening, opening ceremony, sleep, thing, wake up
Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

0

2 months ago

again, Britain, case, catchphrase, clever, forename, hello, humor, i, identity, joke, missed, real, spy, surname, tell
I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

0

2 months ago

admiration, beloved, celebrity, celebrity fan, close, connection, doing, fan, friend, humor, i, personal, personal connection, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, today, wonder
Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

0

2 months ago

aliens, Earth, everyone, existence, exploration, humor, intelligent, intelligent life, irony, life, looking, perspective, space, start
Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

0

2 months ago

activity, exercise, fun, fun activity, guy, humor, i, invention, jogging, music, suffering

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Reddit this month:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

27 shares on X this month:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

96 shares on Discord this month:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

41 shares on Discord this month:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Spreading quickly via X:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Spotted on TikTok:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Just landed via Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨