Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Breaking via Threads:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Going bananas on Twitch:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Shared recently on Threads:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Making waves on YouTube:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Just landed via Twitch:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Just shared via Facebook:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a recipe for confusion! 😂🥵🔄

72, American, Americans, bro, casual, casual speech, Fahrenheit, Funny, humor, i, joke, man, outside, oven, speak, speech, temperature, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

0

4 months ago

child, debt, family, finance, humor, i, joke, love, me, money, parenting, parents, pay, spending, world
I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

0

4 weeks ago

communication, entertainment, foreign, foreign language, humor, i, just, know, language, languages, listening, misunderstanding, music, sometimes, speak, talking
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

0

2 months ago

behavior, fall, friend, humor, irony, laugh, panic, phone, priorities, social, social behavior
Be useless, so nobody can use you.

0

2 months ago

cynicism, humor, irony, motivation, nobody, sarcasm, self-deprecating, useless, uselessness, witty
Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

0

2 months ago

across, ask, driving, Google, Google Maps, humor, left, left turn, maps, navigation, needs, oncoming, oncoming traffic, safety, setting, take, traffic, turn, where
I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

0

2 months ago

buy, cooking, cookware, handles, hot, hotter, humor, i, irony, kitchen, kitchen humor, pot

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

90 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Trending via TikTok:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Just shared via WeChat:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Seen just now on Slack:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Live now on TikTok:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Shared recently on X:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨