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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Just shared via Threads:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Seen just now on Threads:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Just shared via Facebook:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Making waves on X:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

10 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about forgetfulness and aging with a playful vibe.

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Commentary:
Growing older: gaining wisdom points but with a high chance of memory wipe! 🧠✨🙃

age, daily, daily life, day, every, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, just, learned, learning, life, memory, new, old, something, today

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

13 shares on X this month:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Shared recently on Slack:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Just landed via Facebook:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Freshly posted on Slack:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Just shared via Facebook:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Spotted on Telegram:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Just landed via Threads:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Live now on Discord:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Just shared via Messenger:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨