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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Going viral on Twitch:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Shared recently on Discord:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Going viral on Telegram:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Making waves on Slack:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

3 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I know, right? My "Strangers Offering Free Drugs" punch card is still completely blank! 😅🍬🚫

child, childhood, drug, drugs, expectation, free, free drug, humor, i, impression, much, reality, stranger, strangers, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope this email kills us both.

0

2 months ago

both, communication, email, frustration, hope, humor, i, sarcasm, stress, us, work
My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

0

2 months ago

confusion, funny moment, humor, i, moment, realization, Saturday, Sunday, time, weekend, well
90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

0

4 months ago

90, happen, i, never, things, works, worry, worrying
SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

0

2 months ago

analytics, banana, bananas, eating, expert, experts, factor, humor, i, marketing, ranking, ranking factor, seo, traffic
And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, date, first date, going, humor, joke, last, magic, next, relationship, situation, trick
Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

0

2 months ago

commitment, fear, humor, joke, Kermit, maybe, miss, Miss Piggy, piggy, reason, relationship, single, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

40 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

91 shares on Slack this month:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Just landed via Reddit:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Trending via Threads:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Just shared via Discord:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Going viral on WeChat:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Trending via Facebook:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Trending via Reddit:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Making waves on TikTok:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hope this email kills us both.

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨