Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Trending via Facebook:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Just shared via Instagram:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Trending via Telegram:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Taking "open wide and say ahh" to a whole new level! 😂🦷🤐

asking, awkward, before, dental, dental visit, dentist, fingers, humor, humorist, joke, mouth, prank, question, silly, sticking, visit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

0

2 months ago

brand, consumerism, humor, loyal, loyalty, sale, shopping, whatever
Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

0

2 months ago

animal, centipede, flip, flip flop, flop, flops, footwear, humor, imagination, imagine, little, loud, noise, tiny
Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

0

4 months ago

digital, digital pet, getting, health, humor, nostalgia, opinion, pet, second, second opinion, Tamagotchi, virtual, virtual pet
I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, being, deny, dumb, embarrassing, front, here, humor, i, intergalactic, planet, travelers
Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

0

2 months ago

faith, God, godparent, humor, joke, parenting, recruitment, religion, standard
Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

0

2 months ago

am, doubt, grok, i, identity, introspection, only, original, originality, questioning, self, self-doubt, sexual, sexuality, true, uniqueness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on YouTube this month:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

31 shares on Discord this month:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

99 shares on X this month:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

90 shares on X this month:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Just shared via YouTube:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Trending via YouTube:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Just landed via YouTube:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Shared recently on Threads:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨