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Commentary:
"Ah, the power of Fridays – turning a casual drink invitation into a grand, generous gesture 😄🍸 One lucky lady gets the honor of buying the drinks today! Cheers to the weekend shenanigans and unexpected invitations!"

activity, beautiful, dating, drinks, Friday, fun, fun activity, humor, i, invitation, invite, me, relaxation, weekend, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

2 weeks ago
hate, honesty, humor, i, insult, liar, only, sarcasm, stupid, stupidity, thing
IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

1 month ago
analogy, california, furniture, hotel, Hotel California, humor, IKEA, shopping, store, stores
Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

2 months ago
disaster, dramatic, humor, meltdown, personal, personal struggle, please, sarcasm, seat, self-destruction, struggle, witness
First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

1 month ago
butterfly, feelings, give, health, humor, love, mental, mental health, problems, relationship
When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

1 month ago
communication, email, hope, humor, i, skills, tracking, well, well-being, witty
I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

1 month ago
daylight, humor, needs, saving, self

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Going viral on X:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Trending via Instagram:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

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Activity Log ✨

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

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Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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