Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Just landed via Reddit:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Going viral on Threads:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Just landed via YouTube:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Breaking via Reddit:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just when you thought 2023 couldn't get crazier, 2024's terms and conditions are still downloading… 🤔📜⏳

agree, agreement, before, caution, conditions, humor, i, joke, new, new year, procrastination, read, terms, terms and conditions, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

0

2 months ago

bacon, cooking, diet, food, humor, i, point, question, salad
“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, cut, drama, earthworm, front, gardening, humor, life, self-sacrifice, spade
There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

0

2 months ago

bedtime, before, blooper, comedy, end, horror, horror movie, humor, movie, relaxation, should
Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, boss, going, home, honesty, humor, i, joke, miscommunication, prank, say, told, workplace
The worst person you know is studying psychology.

0

2 months ago

humor, know, person, psychology, studying, worst, Worst Person
Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

0

2 months ago

advice, care, communication, confusion, everyone, humor, me, misunderstanding, phrase, take, take care, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

51 shares on Discord this month:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

53 shares on Slack this month:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Breaking via YouTube:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Just landed via Twitch:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Just landed via Slack:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Just shared via Reddit:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Spotted on Discord:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨