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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,737

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Going viral on Instagram:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Just shared via Instagram:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Just shared via Messenger:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Just when you thought 2023 couldn't get crazier, 2024's terms and conditions are still downloading… 🤔📜⏳

agree, agreement, before, caution, conditions, humor, i, joke, new, new year, procrastination, read, terms, terms and conditions, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

3 months ago
being, being listened, feel, feeling, girl, i, listened, little, little girl, me, talking, trigger
Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

1 month ago
away, home, humor, irony, paper, piece, receipt, shopping, take, throw, throwaway, tiny, waste
Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

4 months ago
adult, adult humor, boner, erection, getting, humor, instruction, instructions, Lego, me, telling, toy
Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

1 month ago
appreciate, appreciation, downfall, humor, i, irony, me, positivity, praying, self-reflection, thinking
A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

1 month ago
big, bowl, comfort, comfort food, food, fry, fulfillment, good, happiness, humor, love, personal, relationship, snack, substitute
I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

2 months ago
breakup, broke, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, i, joke, just, relationship, working, workout

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

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Activity Log ✨

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

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Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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