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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has copied:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has downloaded:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has viewed:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has copied:

Weed smokers be like, β€œHold up β€” before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has viewed:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I hate when teachers put β€œ?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Live now on X:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Going bananas on Slack:

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

Just shared via Facebook:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Changing my relationship status from β€œSingle” to β€œI give up.”

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Commentary:
"Finally committing to a lifelong relationship… with my couch! πŸ›‹οΈπŸ’”πŸ˜‚ #LoveAtFirstSit"

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Discord this month:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

39 shares on Messenger this month:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

β€œI have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

81 shares on X this month:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, β€œNot tonight, buddy.”

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Living la vida taco!

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has copied:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has copied:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an β€˜egosystem’.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has copied:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has copied:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has shared:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has copied:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has shared:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has downloaded:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Discord:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Breaking via Discord:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Going viral on Pinterest:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Going viral on YouTube:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Going bananas on TikTok:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Shared recently on Messenger:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Making waves on Messenger:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

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