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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Just shared via YouTube:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Breaking via Reddit:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Shared recently on Twitch:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Going bananas on Instagram:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Just shared via Messenger:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Trending via Pinterest:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

4 weeks ago

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That's one way to audition for the role of leading man in the wrong movie! 🎬😅

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35 shares on Discord this month:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

93 shares on Threads this month:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

92 shares on TikTok this month:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Seen just now on Threads:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Just landed via Facebook:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Making waves on Twitch:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Making waves on Twitch:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

Spotted on Instagram:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

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Activity Log ✨

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

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Activity Log ✨

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨