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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

332 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,925

Funny Quotes Topics

17,098

Funny Quotes Images

14,925

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,798

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Shared recently on Threads:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Seen just now on Threads:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Spotted on Messenger:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Beavers: Nature's original anti-water activists! 🦫🚫💧"

absolutely, animals, beaver, confusion, curiosity, decision, decision making, doing, even, humor, just, know, making, nature, river, think, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

2 weeks ago

anxiety, bank, buyer, call, confirm, department, fraud, having, humor, little, moment, over, past, phone, phone call, purchase, self-examination, treat, truly
Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

1 month ago

dating, forever, honeymoon, humor, humor quote, lasts, love, marriage, partner, phase, pick, relationship, right, romance
I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

1 month ago

age, humor, i, know, start, think, traditional, work
Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

1 month ago

anticipation, boring, delivery, excitement, life, online, online shopping, package, parcel, shopping, wait
We literally used to write an essay by hand.

3 months ago

education, essay, hand, handwriting, humor, literally, memory, nostalgia, old, old school, school, used, writing
Twitter is an abusement park.

1 month ago

abusement, amusement, fun, humor, irony, media, park, social, social media, Twitter

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Seen just now on Slack:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Just landed via Twitch:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Breaking via Pinterest:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Going viral on TikTok:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Spotted on Instagram:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

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Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Twitter is an abusement park.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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