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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Just landed via YouTube:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Going viral on Messenger:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Seen just now on Discord:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote questioning if others check used matches for fire before disposal.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew old matches were such pyromaniacs? 🔥🕵️‍♂️🥴

afraid, anxiety, anyone, before, disposal, else, fear, fire, humor, left, match, normal, run, safety, still, under, used, water

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

73 shares on Slack this month:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

68 shares on Slack this month:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

21 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

45 shares on X this month:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Making waves on WeChat:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Going viral on WeChat:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Just landed via Snapchat:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Going viral on X:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Just shared via YouTube:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Spotted on Threads:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Going viral on Messenger:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Keep the laugh going 😂

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨