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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Going viral on Reddit:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Making waves on Twitch:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Just landed via Slack:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Going bananas on Instagram:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew "adulting" was just code for "download all the apps your kid self never dreamed of"? 😂📱🔐

access, app, authentication, Authenticator, download, ever, every, girl, i, job, little, microsoft, Microsoft Authenticator, necessary, never, personal, phone, platform, professional, professional platform, security, wanted, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

0

2 months ago

bore, confidence, humor, i, personality, problems, sarcasm, self-deprecating, wit
Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

0

2 months ago

boundary, care, drawing, era, growth, healthy, healthy boundary, humor, just, people, people pleaser, personal, personal growth, pleaser, politely, recovering, recovery, self, self-care, villain, villain era
I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

0

2 months ago

bottom, humor, i, irony, motivation, perspective, struggle, work
Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

0

3 months ago

adulthood, bill, bills, decision, eat, food, humor, just, responsibility, why, wondering
My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, cats, food, humor, knowledge, lasagna, pizza, turtle, turtles
Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

0

2 months ago

cleverness, dumb, five, humor, management, minutes, playing, playing dumb, procrastination, saving, saving work, time, time management, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on YouTube this month:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

13 shares on Discord this month:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Spotted on Facebook:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Freshly posted on X:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Seen just now on Discord:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨