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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,499

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Just shared via Telegram:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Just shared via Messenger:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Spotted on Instagram:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Just landed via WeChat:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Making waves on Telegram:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Sure, here's a funny comment for you:

When you say "No," buckle up because you're about to get the deluxe tour of AI magic and non-stop marveling! 😂🤖✨

AI, ChatGPT, conversation, coworker, daily, daily life, day, end, every, humor, joke, life, new, office, say, technology, used, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

0

2 months ago

advice, bad, dentist, drink, eat, food, health, humor, name, should, teeth, toothpaste, water
Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

0

2 months ago

come over, everywhere, hair, humor, i, mess, over, pet, shed, visit
Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

0

2 months ago

boys, date, eyes, guy, humor, interest, rejection, relationship, sorry
Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

1

2 months ago

ebay, emotions, feelings, humor, i, sell, unwanted, want
My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

0

2 months ago

comedy, commit, crime, crime evidence, detective, DNA, everywhere, evidence, forensic, hair, humor, i, joke, leave, me, never, self-deprecating
You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

0

2 months ago

before, casual, dessert, fitness, food, humor, i, know, pants, put, real, snack, yoga

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

87 shares on X this month:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

100 shares on Discord this month:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

60 shares on Discord this month:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Going viral on Reddit:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Going viral on Reddit:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Breaking via Reddit:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Going viral on Slack:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Going viral on Telegram:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Just shared via Twitch:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨