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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,268

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Seen just now on X:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Trending via Threads:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Breaking via Messenger:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When I open my wallet, my bank account screams 'we need a refund!' 😂💸 #ReimburseTheSpender"

comedy, every, expenses, feel, finance, financial, financial frustration, frustration, humor, i, me, money, needs, own, reimbursement, somebody, spend, time, wallet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

0

2 months ago

flirting, glasses, good, humor, line, me, nightstand, pickup, pickup line, reading, reading glasses, romance
Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

0

2 months ago

actually, demoralization, else, experience, frustration, humor, hunting, job, job hunting, job search, life, life experience, little, most, nothing, personal, personal reflection, realize, reflection, search, self-doubt
You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

0

2 months ago

anger, emotions, experience, family, humor, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, sister
If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

0

2 months ago

date, girlfriend, humor, i, ID, love, polyamorous, relationship, think, three, times
Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

0

2 months ago

filter, good, honesty, house, humor, i, look good, me, photo, photos, side, ugly, ugly side, want, yes
Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

0

2 months ago

before, facial, facial recognition, forgetfulness, humor, interaction, me, memory, people, recognition, social, social interaction, talking, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Messenger this month:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Salary week, but salary weak.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

48 shares on Discord this month:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Making waves on Pinterest:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Making waves on WeChat:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Spotted on Twitch:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Spotted on Facebook:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Just shared via Telegram:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Just landed via Pinterest:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨