Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Trending via Reddit:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Just shared via Reddit:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

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First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.
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Commentary:
"Ah, nothing screams romance like 'till death do us start!' 😂💀🌹"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

90 shares on X this month:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

92 shares on TikTok this month:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

58 shares on Threads this month:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Spotted on Threads:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Making waves on X:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Trending via Threads:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Trending via Facebook:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Just landed via TikTok:

Easy there, unsaved number.

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