Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

4 minutes ago

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Shared recently on Telegram:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Just landed via TikTok:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Just shared via Reddit:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Reported on WeChat:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Spotted on Reddit:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

6 months ago

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, who needs sweet nothings when you've got syrupy waffles! 🥞🥓 Take it from maple to mouthwatering with this breakfast talk that's sure to leave you craving more than just pancakes… or maybe not. 😉

Who knew breakfast could be so steamy? Just imagine the sizzle of bacon, the crispiness of waffles, and the ooey-gooey goodness of maple syrup drizzling down… It's a breakfast love story waiting to happen!

breakfast, conversation, date, describe, food, food conversation, forget, humor, i, me, nice, sexy, sexy talk, slow, slow talk, talk, waffles, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

4 minutes ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Making waves on Reddit:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Breaking via Slack:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Reported on TikTok:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Just shared via Reddit:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴