Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Live now on Facebook:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Live now on Pinterest:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, who needs sweet nothings when you've got syrupy waffles! 🥞🥓 Take it from maple to mouthwatering with this breakfast talk that's sure to leave you craving more than just pancakes… or maybe not. 😉

Who knew breakfast could be so steamy? Just imagine the sizzle of bacon, the crispiness of waffles, and the ooey-gooey goodness of maple syrup drizzling down… It's a breakfast love story waiting to happen!

breakfast, conversation, date, describe, food, food conversation, forget, humor, i, me, nice, sexy, sexy talk, slow, slow talk, talk, waffles, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

79 shares on Discord this month:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,251

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

January: the Monday of months.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Just landed via X:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Going viral on WeChat:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Trending via Snapchat:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Just landed via Facebook:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴