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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Trending via Snapchat:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Trending via YouTube:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Just shared via Slack:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Going bananas on Facebook:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Funny age 30 quotes

New funny age 30 quotes 👇

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

2 months ago

30, addiction, advice, age, age 30, guessing, home, humor, life, life advice, lifestyle, routine, second, settled, should, work, works

All funny age 30 quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

31 shares on X this month:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

96 shares on Discord this month:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Seen just now on Threads:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Freshly posted on X:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Going viral on Discord:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Breaking via WeChat:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Spotted on LinkedIn:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Going viral on Slack:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny age 30 quotes

New funny age 30 quotes 👇

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

All funny age 30 quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨