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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,953

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Just landed via YouTube:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Just shared via Instagram:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Trending via WhatsApp:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Live now on YouTube:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Breaking via Facebook:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,711

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Just landed via Slack:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Live now on Pinterest:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Just shared via WeChat:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Seen just now on WeChat:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

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