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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Going viral on Telegram:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Making waves on Messenger:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Spotted on Facebook:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Trending via Slack:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Making waves on Telegram:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Just shared via Discord:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

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Funny Amazon review quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,416

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Just landed via Twitch:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Trending via WeChat:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Going viral on TikTok:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Just shared via Instagram:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

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