Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

52 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Live now on YouTube:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Just shared via Messenger:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Spotted on Discord:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Home » Funny American Dream Quotes

Funny American dream quotes

New funny American dream quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Commentary:
Well, in a world full of student loans and avocado toast, why not shake things up with a little extraterrestrial excitement? 👽🌌 Who needs picket fences and white picket fences when you can have laser beams and intergalactic adventures? Beam me up to that American dream any day! 🚀🇺🇸 #ItCameFromOuterSpace

For even more funny American dream quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny American dream quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

52 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Making waves on Facebook:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Breaking via Threads:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Spotted on Pinterest:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Trending via YouTube:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Freshly posted on X:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Just shared via Telegram:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Reported on Telegram:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴