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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2242 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,404

Funny Quotes Topics

15,108

Funny Quotes Images

12,404

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Just shared via WeChat:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Live now on Facebook:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Spotted on Instagram:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Going viral on TikTok:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Just shared via Snapchat:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2242 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,404

Funny Quotes Topics

15,108

Funny Quotes Images

12,404

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Breaking via YouTube:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Reported on Twitch:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Live now on X:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Just shared via WeChat:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

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