Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,310

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Trending via Reddit:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Just landed via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Shared recently on Slack:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Just landed via Discord:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Just shared via Twitch:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Funny animal metaphor quotes

Funny animal metaphor quotes 🐒🐸 bring a wild twist to everyday wisdom! These clever comparisons use our favorite creatures to make life’s quirks and truths hilariously relatable 🦄😂. Whether you’re feeling as sly as a fox or as busy as a bee, these witty sayings add a splash of humor and charm to any conversation. Ready to unleash some laughter? Let’s dive into the animal kingdom of clever wordplay! 🐾🎉

New funny animal metaphor quotes 👇

All funny animal metaphor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Slack this month:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

15 shares on Slack this month:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

25 shares on Discord this month:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,379

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Trending via YouTube:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Spotted on TikTok:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Spotted on Twitch:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Spotted on TikTok:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Seen just now on X:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Seen just now on Discord:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

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