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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

Funny Quotes Topics

13,922

Funny Quotes Images

10,980

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Reported on Telegram:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Just shared via X:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Making waves on WeChat:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Spotted on Reddit:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Trending via Facebook:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Just shared via TikTok:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

Funny Quotes Topics

13,922

Funny Quotes Images

10,980

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Spotted on Telegram:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Just shared via Facebook:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Spotted on Slack:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Spotted on WeChat:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Shared recently on Discord:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Spotted on Telegram:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Just landed via TikTok:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

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