Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Going viral on Slack:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Making waves on Reddit:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Shared recently on X:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Spotted on Reddit:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Funny billions quotes

Funny billions quotes are here to make your day sparkle with laughter and a dash of billionaire wit 💸😂! Whether you’re dreaming of stacks or just love clever humor about massive fortunes, these gems will have you chuckling all the way to the (imaginary) bank 🏦💰. Get ready for some seriously funny takes on wealth, success, and all things billion-dollar! 🚀✨

New funny billions quotes 👇

All funny billions quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,285

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Spotted on X:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Live now on YouTube:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Going viral on X:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

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