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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I am single, please disturb me!

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Trending via TikTok:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Just landed via Discord:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Reported on Telegram:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Going viral on Telegram:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Just shared via YouTube:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Trending via X:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Just shared via Twitch:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Spotted on X:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

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